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| To the unseen werido who r u to me. who m i to u.? Oo.. not a replay come on. | | |
| No one see me, no one hear me.
To the blind and deaf,
I don't find any reason to speak up.
I don't want confrontation, so as tears and blood.
With or without, will it make a different.
every matter, any occasion, you are always right,
Me? the childish, emotional freak by all mean.
your value means my value. your need means my need.
it only runs from left to right, but never the other way round.
Just a basic meal at home, yes, he eats with me while she's here,
If not, haha.
She is always big and bright lies right in front,
me? a spotless dust who only dirtily lays on the floor with no contribution.
yeah, i like this role.
O btw. u did WELL on Sunday.
I thoroughly understand one unchangeable fact.
Hard feeling of mine can never be the same as hers.
Thank you! You teach me the importance of being tough & shut up.
Hmm. guess i might as well fold myself up & disappear.
She, has someone standby, somewhere to go shelter all time,
He has someone to busy with, speaks different language to me all time,
She will only create even more trouble & tension if i pass the dirty mud to her.
He asked me last time when I was hospitalised,
"do you still want to be away from home after you graduated"
& my ans was yes. He thought i was joking. but i wasn't.
because I could forsee this situation from long ago.
Last week, it was toilsome. even my decision was right or wrong, worries were overwhelming.
Who see it? Who cares? Who were there for me?
Thank you for going to bed early, thank you for not coming back home, thank you for saying sth offensive to the other party.
very supportive and nice of you!
I really want to leave the place. I am seriously not a homey person.
Long distance always lingers us in a better way.
Set this rebellious and ding sum charm of everyone free.
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| A mixed feeling is overwhelming now. I don't feel much excited, nor extremely sad. A question comes out in my mind, what have i achieved in this 3 years, in particularly, in my 3rd year. To be honest, a tremendous change in mentality & personality and ability over the years, however, a great leap or fall back, it's controversial.......
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| Today, i got a email from my dad after i told him tt i passed my JLPT exam.
He told me tt the last time i wrote in xanga was the date after this exam.
i was stunned. i didn't realize it.
Over these months, i feel myself so incompatible, but at the same time, am i doing anything concrete for it? Hearing my friends receive some gd job interviews/ offers one by one, I can see their bright future, but not my own. People around keep reassuring my ability consistently when i m blue, but i couldn't hear these words from myself EVER ironically. coz I don't believe in myself! What am I actually up to? Lee Cheuk Pui, Where r u? Lee Cheuk Pui! Lee Cheuk Pui! Lee Cheuk Pui!
This weekend, i went down to london n met some old friends. I am so jealous when XM who is my senior from singapore got a summer internship in hk coz of his international exposure opportunity. I am so touched and amazed when Ryan who used to live in a supa dupa extravagant life has started his part time job recently. Everybody is working hard to strive for their lives. and what am i doing? grumbling about my weaknesses.
Friends. I had another deep chat with WY my senior this weekend. He kept reminding me not to be so devoted in friendship. He is not the only person indeed. I know, devotion always come along with expectation. Therefore, when things go opposite from what i expected, I always tell myself to take thing easy n my friends r not obligated to behave in the way tt favour me all time. Eventually. i will just let it be, or in other word, i will ignore the disappointments/ problems. but WHY? When they r upset, they r right to spit out but when i m disappointed n speak up, i m considered as incosiderate n selfish. why can't they c my standpt while i can see theirs..
lee cheuk pui. Listen carefully! No matter how messy/ frustrated u r now, this is gona be the last day ever! You are never a person who scared of failure. For your own good sake, for the contentment in the future, you must make gd use of every single moment to transform yourself with determination! I no YOU N I can make it! | | |
| my JLPT exam is finally over yesterday. i'd oredi tried my very best to be honest. my effort may not be well paid-off but.. i could never change my result if i keep being grumpy. So forget about it n prepare for the worst in march!
Well. indeed. i will have my math test n jap listening exam tomolo, but i've been so so so so distracted since i came back from london yesterday. My friends here are heading back to hk one by one!!! Really! i hate seeing ppl leaving me until i become to "SEI JING JUNG!', especially after the exhausted weeks in library with no social contact, my homesick is finally Realized! NEVERMIND! FORGET ABOUT IT! coz i am going to ski in France for a week anyway! ^.^ lol!
What i wana say is.. I am really in the mood of Partying!! the VERY VERY CRAZY one!! I hired myself for too long!!! I am just Like those who were in the exam period n were so looking forward to the FUN. Unfortunately,, i havent even started the exams which is going to happen in a month time.. so as the need to finish off my applicationssss (again), coursework n some revision b4 heading to france. Damn it! but anyway, i will try to focus again after my night out with my housemates tomolo! HURRAY!!!
Anyway!!
Have just talked to my mom on the fone. Wow!! I Was so happy tt my grandma enjoyed her 85th Birthday Celebration very much! she even told my mom tt " This is the happiest moment in my life" (well.. not in english of coz ^.<) I wish i could be there too!!!
Apparently she loves the presents from us, I'd never seen my grandma being so HYPER too!! ^.^
Talking about home. I think it's really time for me to go back next year (at least somewhere nearer to hk..*winkwink.) for the sake of my family, my dogsss... So should i stop applying for jobs here as they r reali time consuming.. | | |
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